{"id":624,"date":"2009-12-24T14:22:50","date_gmt":"2009-12-24T12:22:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/?p=624"},"modified":"2015-04-27T23:59:44","modified_gmt":"2015-04-27T21:59:44","slug":"20-steps-to-world-peace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/20-steps-to-world-peace\/","title":{"rendered":"20 steps to world peace"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Haufenwolke, a reader of this column, <a title=\"See Haufenwolke's comment under I'd Like a Nobel Peace Prize, Too, Please (Mike Pilewski)\" href=\"http:\/\/www.spotlight-online.de\/blogs\/mike-pilewski\/id-like-a-nobel-peace-prize-too-please\" target=\"_blank\">says<\/a> I don&#8217;t deserve to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. So I&#8217;ve decided to <span id=\"tooltip551fd74079f4f\">step up<\/span> my efforts.<\/p>\n<p>Like most people, I wish for peace on Earth on December 24. But wishing alone won&#8217;t stop the <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407a32f\">inconsiderate<\/span> behavior of others. Actions must follow. So here are 20 simple suggestions that could be <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407a715\">put in place<\/span> almost immediately.<\/p>\n<h2>Public activities<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>All cars will be fitted with thick rubber <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407aafe\">bumpers<\/span> like the ones in amusement parks. Insurance companies will be made to pay for any and all damage that still occurs.<\/li>\n<li>Calls from known <a title=\"Putting a stop to Robocalls (Mike Pilewski)\" href=\"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/putting-a-stop-to-robocalls\/\">telemarketers<\/a> will be <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407aee7\">diverted<\/span> to a number that plays a recording of <a title=\"Meco - Ewok Celebration (Club Version) (YouTube)\" href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=oUWk1WBfDP8\" target=\"_blank\">&#8220;Ewok Celebration&#8221;<\/a>. Brave citizens will <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407b2cd\">recite<\/span> the rap in Ewokese (about four minutes in) to any telemarketers who get through.<\/li>\n<li>Each European country will choose a month in which all repairs to important building fa\u00e7ades will be done at the same time. Tourists will be told which month this is, and will return the following month to take photos.<\/li>\n<li>When <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407b6b5\">contemplating<\/span> new building projects, governments will automatically add 50 percent to the expected cost and six months to the completion time, to give a realistic estimate. The contractors will then be given a fixed sum of money and no more.<\/li>\n<li>The site <i>answers.yahoo.com<\/i> will come with a warning that the users are teenagers who pull their explanations <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407ba9f\">out of thin air<\/span>.<\/li>\n<li>Banks and government offices will have evening <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407be87\">hours<\/span>. They may stay closed on Wednesdays to make up for this.<\/li>\n<li>Babies will not be allowed on airplanes during <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407c26f\">takeoff<\/span> or landing. They can be on the plane, but just not during takeoff or landing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Health and hygiene<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>One third of men, and 12 percent of women, <a title=\"Study Sees Rise in Men Not Washing Hands (Washington Post, 2007)\" href=\"http:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/wp-dyn\/content\/article\/2007\/09\/17\/AR2007091700842_pf.html\" target=\"_blank\">do not wash their hands<\/a> when leaving the <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407c65c\">restroom<\/span>. If they did, we wouldn&#8217;t have to worry about <a title=\"We're All Going to Die (or Maybe Not) (Mike Pilewski)\" href=\"\/blog\/were-all-going-to-die-or-maybe-not\" target=\"_blank\">swine flu<\/a> or many other diseases. To ensure the survival of the human race, users of public restrooms will have to <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407ca3e\">insert<\/span> both hands into a special <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407ce21\">device<\/span> that cleans them, in order to avoid being locked in.<\/li>\n<li>Noise pollution is one of the biggest causes of stress and is the most ignored health issue of our time. Thus, anyone caught using a <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407d207\">leafblower<\/span> will be handed a <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407d5f0\">rake<\/span> or <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407d9ea\">broom<\/span> and made to do 100 hours of <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407ddcf\">community service<\/span>.<\/li>\n<li>Loud co-workers and <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407e1b4\">alpha males<\/span> should be reminded that others can hear them perfectly well, and that hearing tests can be done for free.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;<span id=\"tooltip551fd7407e97c\">Scent<\/span> police&#8221; in public areas will stop people who do not bathe regularly and hand them a <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407ef55\">bar<\/span> of soap and a <span id=\"tooltip551fd7407f784\">reprimand<\/span>. On hot days, the scent police will be doubled in number. This will help to reduce unemployment.<\/li>\n<li>The legal age for buying cigarettes will be raised to 50. If you still want to <span id=\"tooltip551fd74080342\">take up<\/span> smoking at that age, then go ahead (but do it outdoors).<\/li>\n<li>An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Therefore, a lot more tax money must be used to raise awareness of, and fight, mental-health issues.<\/li>\n<li>All websites, including this one, will be redesigned with proper-sized <span id=\"tooltip551fd74080542\">type<\/span>, to reflect the fact that people have been using 96 or 100 <span id=\"tooltip551fd74080b01\">dpi<\/span> screens for some time and that we are all ruining our <span id=\"tooltip551fd74080dbf\">eyesight<\/span>.*<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Global politics<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Israel and Palestine will put aside their <a title=\"Activists break West Bank barrier (BBC, 09 Nov 2009)\" href=\"http:\/\/news.bbc.co.uk\/2\/hi\/8350939.stm\" target=\"_blank\">walls<\/a> and weapons and compete for territory in a series of <span id=\"tooltip551fd740816fe\">soccer<\/span> games to be played in downtown Jerusalem. The results will be <span id=\"tooltip551fd74081857\">binding<\/span>.<\/li>\n<li><span id=\"tooltip551fd740820b8\">Milquetoasts<\/span> like <a title=\"Secretary General Ban Ki-moon (UN official site)\" href=\"http:\/\/www.un.org\/sg\/\" target=\"_blank\">Ban Ki-moon<\/a> will be a thing of the past when Arnold Schwarzenegger is made secretary general of the UN. He will adopt a threatening tone to nations that encourage <span id=\"tooltip551fd74082650\">genocide<\/span>, ocean piracy and illegal <span id=\"tooltip551fd740827fa\">enrichment<\/span> of uranium.<\/li>\n<li>Leaders of rebel groups such as ETA will be locked in a room with Bono Vox, who will <span id=\"tooltip551fd74082c2c\">break the news<\/span> that the world does <span id=\"tooltip551fd740830ae\">not give a rat&#8217;s ass about<\/span> them. The rebels will be forced to listen to U2 until they <span id=\"tooltip551fd740833b0\">get with the program<\/span> and also realize that Bono can&#8217;t sing. A similar <span id=\"tooltip551fd74083b39\">summit<\/span> will be held for owners of car alarms.<\/li>\n<li><a title=\"9\/11: History or Mystery? (Mike Pilewski)\" href=\"\/blog\/911-history-or-mystery\" target=\"_blank\">9\/11<\/a> will be properly investigated, with all <span id=\"tooltip551fd74083b90\">witnesses<\/span> under <span id=\"tooltip551fd74083f68\">oath<\/span> this time and all information made public. Dick Cheney and Condoleezza Rice will be connected to lie detectors at all times and will be given small electric shocks whenever they claim not to remember anything.<\/li>\n<li>All products <a title=\"How Much Is Freedom Worth? (Mike Pilewski)\" href=\"\/blog\/how-much-is-freedom-worth\" target=\"_blank\">made in China<\/a> will be safety-tested in laboratories instead of on their, and our, children and <span id=\"tooltip551fd74084350\">pets<\/span>.<\/li>\n<li>Washington state will admit that having the same name as the nation&#8217;s capital is not a good idea, and will <span id=\"tooltip551fd74084a05\">shut down operations<\/span> until a new name can be found. The state of Georgia and the country of Georgia will decide who gets to keep the name in a game of <span id=\"tooltip551fd74084b2a\">rock-paper-scissors<\/span> (best out of three). Similarly, <a title=\"National currencies called &quot;dollar&quot; (Wikipedia)\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Dollar#National_currencies_called_.22dollar.22\" target=\"_blank\">all countries<\/a> that call their <span id=\"tooltip551fd74084f08\">currency<\/span> the &#8220;dollar&#8221;, except the United States, will have until 2012 to <span id=\"tooltip551fd740852f0\">come up with<\/span> a new name.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The great thing is that we don&#8217;t need to follow all of these steps right away. Any one of them would be a contribution to world peace. So maybe now you can put in a word for me with the <a title=\"Nobel Peace Prize nomination\" href=\"http:\/\/nobelprize.org\/nomination\/peace\/\" target=\"_blank\">Nobel Committee<\/a>. I wish you peaceful and conflict-free holidays.<\/p>\n<p><b>*Update, April 2015:<\/b> I was able to do this one myself when moving this column to its own website. Enjoy the readability!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Haufenwolke, a reader of this column, says I don&#8217;t deserve to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. So I&#8217;ve decided to step up my efforts. Like most people, I wish for peace on Earth on December 24. But wishing alone won&#8217;t stop the inconsiderate behavior of others. Actions must follow. So here are 20 simple suggestions that could be <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/20-steps-to-world-peace\/\">&#8230; >><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[122],"tags":[39,51,141,192,70,123,71,29,111],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/624"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=624"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1767,"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/624\/revisions\/1767"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fascinating-america.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}